Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He did a backflip because drugs
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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