Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
