Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
