I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize