the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i've created a new STD.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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