Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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