Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize