She is in my trunk
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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