I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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