Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
