Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
