so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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