There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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