im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
