Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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