just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This is my gift to your gina
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
