dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
