So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
