He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
