I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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