yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
