Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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