Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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