My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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