That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
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In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
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Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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