I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
