That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize