so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
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Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
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By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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