did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
