his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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