(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I need water and some morals
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
