If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
