i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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