I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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