Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
