i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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