he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
