...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
