The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We talked him into tasing himself.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
