you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize