i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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