I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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