Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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