I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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