Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
