Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
