They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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