I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
