We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
