I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just found puke in my bra..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
