Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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