He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
