somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
