Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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