he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
