He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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