Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
